Let’s Talk About Relationships

This week, I want you to look at your relationships with real honesty.

Where do you feel gaps? What relationships cause stress or pain when you think about them? What relationships are missing completely?
Family? Friends? Kids? Parents? Siblings? A partner?
What feels off? What feels lonely? What feels one-sided?

Write it down. All of it. Don’t sugarcoat the pain.

After you do that, create your wish list.
If you could wave a magic wand and make your relationships healthy, aligned, and supportive, what would that look like? What would you actually want?

Be honest with yourself. That’s where real connection starts.

Next, you have to be honest with those you choose to keep in your life.

Be honest with those who are closest to you

Your story matters. The honest version.
Some of us have walked through things we’ve never said out loud.
Addiction. Abortion. Abuse. Failure. Financial issues.
These issues can be scary to talk about. But know that you’re not alone.

Also know that you can’t build real connection if you’re hiding behind half-truths about your past and your present. No one expects you to be perfect, but when you masquerade around pretending you are, no one will trust your intentions. Worse, you will fail to build authentic and lasting bonds because you aren’t being your true self.

I learned this the hard way.

In a previous relationship, I omitted what I felt was a minor detail in an attempt to prevent unnecessary drama. It didn’t. It just prevented him from making an informed choice about me. I wasn’t trying to manipulate anything, but that’s exactly what lying does. It takes away someone’s ability to consent to being involved with you.

Eventually, everything came out. And yes, it caused anger, distrust, and pain.
Not because the truth was unforgivable, but because the lie took away his consent to make an informed decision about who I really was, and it caused doubt that made him question what else I may have lied about.

Truth is uncomfortable, but it’s the only thing that can build trust.
It’s the only way someone can choose you with their whole heart.

One step deeper, when you allow a safe circle to know your faults and weaknesses, they can help hold you accountable and support you in being a healthier version of yourself. This is an important part of friendships, romantic relationships, and mentorships.

Evaluate the relationships in your life and see if you’ve manipulated your way into them or if you were manipulated into forming a bond while only knowing half-truths. Ask yourself if that is what is causing the friction today. If so, that guilt, shame, or resentment may be bleeding in and disturbing your peace.

Repairing and releasing

Think about one relationship in your life where trust was broken.
What truth could bring clarity and peace, even if it doesn’t bring closeness?

Next, be honest about who you’ve outgrown.
Sometimes loyalty keeps us tied to connections that drain us or connections that no longer feel authentic.
You don’t have to cut people off to grow, but you do have to stop pretending everything is fine. And you both have to actively work to improve the relationship if you wish to maintain it.

Your next step

Look at your notes. Your gaps. Your wish list. Your truth.
Pick one relationship to improve. Share the gaps you’re feeling, iron out any half-truths, and express what you would like to work toward together with that person.

If it feels scary, that’s normal.
Say the following affirmation anyway:
“Honesty is how I honor myself and invite true connection.”

And if you want a safe community to walk this out with, post about it in The Humbled and Empowered Community and invite a friend who needs this too.