A lot of us (especially women) have been teased for being “emotional.”

But let’s be honest: everyone has emotions. The difference is whether we let them inform us or control us.

Emotions are not the enemy. They are information. They are signals. The problem is what happens when we let a feeling become the foundation for our purpose or our goals.

Because feelings shift, and when your goal is built on something that shifts, your consistency and motivation will shift too.

This post is about building goals that outlast how you are feeling today.

What you’ll walk away with after reading

By the end of this post, you’ll understand:

• Why emotions shouldn’t be the foundation of your goals
• How both negative and positive emotions can spark goals
• Why emotional motivation is unreliable
• How anchoring your goals to stable principles creates long-term progress
• Your next step to reaching your goals

Let’s get started

Here is the simplest way I can say this:

Emotions can start a goal, but they cannot sustain a goal.

Emotions are like the weather. They change all the time. Principles are like a foundation. They stay in place even when the weather is unfavorable.

When you anchor your goal to a principle, you stop relying on motivation and start relying on identity. You move from “I’ll do this when I feel like it” to “I do this because of who I am and what I believe.”

1. The problem: emotion-based goals feel strong, but they are fragile

Emotions absolutely play a role in the way we make decisions.

But if your goal is rooted primarily in a feeling, you will experience this cycle:

• You feel something strongly
• You set a goal from that feeling
• The feeling fades
• The goal starts fading too
• Before you know it, you haven’t worked toward your goal in months.

You assume the problem is discipline, but the real issue is the foundation (or lack of) you built your goal on.

Emotions are unstable

Emotions change from day to day, sometimes hour to hour.

• One day you might be afraid you can’t pay your bills
• Another day you feel fine and assume you’ll figure it out later
• One day you’re embarrassed about your weight
• Another day you’re totally comfortable in your skin

When you tie your goal to a feeling, what happens on the days you do not feel that feeling anymore?

You lose motivation. Not because you are lazy, and not because you are incapable. But because the emotion that sparked the goal is no longer present to keep fueling it.

2. How goals get anchored in emotion

Some of us set goals driven by negative emotion. Some of us set goals driven by positive emotion. Both can create movement, but neither is stable enough to sustain movement.

When goals are rooted in negative emotion

Women tend to be most driven by negative emotions (which is where that pesky stereotype of us being emotionally unstable comes from.)

Negative emotion can create urgency, which looks like motivation in the beginning. But urgency is not the same thing as a long-term plan. It’s more like a temporary boost when we experience the following:

• Fear
• Anxiety
• Embarassment
• (the list goes on)

Once that negative emotion begins to ease up (which is actually a GOOD thing), we get comfortable, and our brain relaxes. This is when we say goodbye to all motivation that was previously fueling us to reach our goal.

When goals are rooted in positive emotion

Positive emotions can create momentum, too, but just like negative emotions, they can disappear when we get comfortable, when progress slows, or when the excitement wears off. Men tend to be more driven by positive emotions. You’ll often see them striving for:

• Status
• Rewards
• The rush of being recognized
• (You get the idea)

Whether the emotion is negative or positive, the problem is the same: emotion is not consistent enough to be the foundation for your goals.

3. Why emotional motivation fails (even when you mean well)

Here’s the truth: you can want to achieve a goal badly one day and feel completely neutral the next.

Real-life examples

Health: Yesterday you were embarrassed about your weight. Today you feel fine. You do not feel urgent anymore, so your effort drops.

Money: Yesterday you were anxious about bills. Today you got paid, and the pressure lifted, so your budgeting habits disappear.

Relationships: Yesterday you felt lonely, so you promised yourself you would stop chasing people. Today you feel wanted by someone’s attention, and the boundary disappears.

Personal growth: Yesterday you felt inspired and ready to change. Today you feel tired, and the change suddenly feels optional.

That is the trap: if emotion is the fuel, consistency is as fickle as your mood.

4. “Find your why” isn’t enough when your why is only emotional

We hear this advice all the time: “Find your why.”

The issue is that many “why” statements are really just emotional statements dressed up as purpose:

• “I fear not having enough money, and I want financial freedom, so I will start a business.”
• “I feel embarrassed about my weight, and I want to feel confident, so I will work out.”
• “I feel inadequate, and I want to feel successful, so I will try to get a promotion.”

Those whys can help you start, but they will not hold you when life gets repetitive, when progress is slow, or when you do not feel motivated.

If your why depends on a feeling, it will collapse the moment the feeling changes.

5. The alternative: anchor your goals to stable principles

Your goal needs to be anchored to something that does not shift when your emotions do.

I call that anchor a principle.

A principle is a deep, stable reason you act no matter how you feel. It is not a mood. It is not a moment. It is something you are committed to.

Principles can come from:

• Your spiritual or religious beliefs
• Your moral compass
• Your identity
• Your core values
• Your vision for your legacy

Principles are stronger than emotion because they do not change day to day.

One reliable place many people pull principles from is the Bible. Scripture does not change based on mood, season, or circumstance.

Proverbs 13:22 says that a good person leaves an inheritance for their children’s children.

That principle is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. If a financial goal is anchored to that kind of principle, it does not disappear on the days you do not feel motivated.

Compare this:

• Emotion-based: “I want to build wealth so I feel successful.”
• Principle-based: “I want to be a good steward and provide for generations after me.”

Feeling successful can come and go. Stewardship and legacy do not.

Another example:

• Emotion-based: “I’m afraid I can’t pay my bills.”
• Principle-based: “I provide security for my family.”

Your fear today might disappear tomorrow. Your commitment to security does not.

6. Anchoring your goal to principles instead of emotions

Here is the practical part.

Step 1: Name the emotion behind the goal

Ask:

• What am I feeling that pushed me to set this goal?

Step 2: Name what the emotion is trying to protect

Ask:

• What am I actually trying to protect or achieve underneath this feeling?
• What matters to me here?

Step 3: Choose the principle that matches that deeper reason

A principle is something you believe, something stable, and something bigger than a feeling.

Emotions can start a goal, but principles sustain it.

A strong principle is something that:

• stays true in a good week and a hard week
• still matters when you feel confident and when you feel insecure
• gives you a reason to keep going after the initial spark wears off

Example 1

• Emotion: fear of not being enough
• Goal it drives: losing weight (or changing your appearance)
• What happens when it’s emotion-based: you start strong, then you feel “good enough” once progress shows, and you stop at a comfortable place, not a healthy one
• Principle to anchor to instead: stewardship and strength, because your body matters and your health impacts your life and the people who depend on you
  • Practical re-anchor: “This isn’t about proving I’m enough. This is about honoring my health and building a body that can carry my life well.”

Example 2

• Emotion: anxiety about money
• Goal it drives: working more hours, trying harder at work for a raise, or starting a business
• What happens when it’s emotion-based: urgency fades after a good month, then the habits disappear and you end up back in the same cycle
• Principle to anchor to instead: consistent stewardship and provision
  • Practical re-anchor: “This isn’t about panic. This is about building stability and making wise choices consistently.”

You are not ignoring your emotion. You are using it as information, then anchoring your goal to a principle that will still be true when the emotion quiets down.

If you want help doing this, you do not have to do it alone. Post your goal in the community and I will help you find the principle underneath it.

7. Your Challenge This Week

This week’s challenge is simple and game-changing.

1. Choose one goal you keep starting and stopping
2. Write down the emotion that usually sparks it
3. Write down what that emotion is trying to protect
4. Anchor your goal to a principle that will still be true next week
5. Take one small action that matches the principle, not the mood

If you do not know how to do this, do not sit in uncertainty. Ask for help.

Talk to me and the community

If a goal feels stuck or you do not know how to anchor it: Post it inside the Humbled and Empowered Community. You can Join the Humbled and Empowered Community if you haven’t yet.